posting here at the insistence of White Lady. There are 3 other chapters out there somewhere, every bit as pointless but not quite as long winded as this


It's been several weeks since I posted.

The pain and tension that haunted me for a month has faded away and now things are just moving along at a steady routine. The days are often blurring together. Still not bored.

Sunday I only became accidentally aware it was Mother's Day. Was always close to mom but things got really weird the past few years. She had gained custody of a toddler who she keeps occupied by handing her the phone to play games. So
texts get deleted
unseen and calls go unanswered. If I can ever get her on the phone, within a minute "Grandma, grandma" "Gotta go."

I actually had a packed day ahead of me and decided to just assume she was unavailable to talk and she wouldn't see any texts. That has been the extent of
our relationship recently. Almost. Until the day the world ended I had a successful experience
based pricing arbitrage business and often used her credit card and would pay her immediately. Sometimes I would think she wouldn't even know I was alive if not getting paypal'd all day. But if I would need her assistance it would turn into a major
inconvenience even though I slammed her card with so many points she will never
have to pay out of pocket for a hotel room or anything off Amazon for a long time. Well, now the refunds have come back to her account to the tune of $6000 and counting. But
I am not going to cause her any further inconvenience by trying to get it back.
Means a lot less to me than the few bucks I could sometimes squeeze out of her all those decades ago would mean to her, back when we were really poor. But also super tight
knit.

My big activity Sunday was walking 5 miles each way to meet a friend for $40 he
has for me among other minor things. Really burned me out physically but nice to see the rest of the city though sad to walk by some local institutions to see signs stating
they are now permanently closed, and thanks for 59 years of business. The meeting spot was conveniently by a Little Caesar's so me and my friend split a pizza right on the sidewalk, chatted a bit, then I walked back home. Walking a main thoroghfare I
notice a woman has been walking across the street, slightly in front of me for over a mile. She is now occasionally glancing back at me. As an avid lifelong pedestrian, I know that look. She thinks I am following her and with my mask I look like a
kidnapper though with my back I couldn't run off with an infant.

So I detour down a side street and pass only a few houses when right in someone's front yard is a junk pile and a "free" sign. Even fear of catching the plague won't stop me from taking a peek. Right in the middle is a spindle of blank DVD's and a pile
of cassettes, some wrapped and some obviously recorded on. Since looting tape collections is my absolute favorite thing in the world, as a matter of fact one
of the things still keeping me so busy even now, I happily risk everything and grab them all.
They are unlabeled and I haven't checked them out yet but definitely will.

Almost three weeks ago I finally had the opportunity to resolve the last major pending issue related to the text exchanges I can do no more than allude to. The main inspiration for even documenting the total despair of my situation, It
involved
responding to an invitation to a "safe situation," a $200 Lyft ride to a distant locale and then a Greyhound ride back a few days later as there was no urgency to play it safe any more.

But if I die in the near future it will be a certain level of contentment that has thus far eluded me. Still no excuse or justification for what I did, even if the circumstances as they were prior to that Friday were not only unbearable
but also possibly
not survivable. Yep, it was getting that intense. But I know I may have endangered others. I did clear it with my roommate before I set off on my adventure. He values his alone time too so it was definitely worth the risk to him that I might bring
something back in and kill him.

If any of my once preferred groups still existed in anything resembling their former glory I just might tell the whole story. Some true storybook shit in there. Or maybe not. But I could find some posts going back to 2003 and 2004 talking about this. But
I am Working really hard to keep the situation from flaring up and exploding again though I think I am totally over it.

On the way home I got to see a bit more of the city for the first time in over a month. Downtown LA has now reverted to its former self. The only people on the street now are the people with nowhere else to go. Yet walking for a mile not a single person
asked me for money. Echo Park was jammed packed with both tents and people enjoying the park in a very unsafe manner. But who am I to judge them now after
what I did?

Looks like I am back on Facebook for good, would suspend for months or years at
a time but seeing how others react to the end of the world is something to behold. As always I only post one hundred percent positivity letting people know that no matter
what I am living the absolute best life anyone can live. Just had to change my outdated profile pic so I can project the same attitude to a local dating group
I definitely don't belong in and even though I prefer no attention to myself, concentrating on
what I am doing instead of who I am, it ended up getting the most likes of any post I have made. And what the hell, the recent haircut already struck lightning once so maybe it can again.

Just way too much food here since I can't just run to the store and grab things
as I need them. And it's so hard to use efficiently do when just cooking for one.

Homeless friend and his dog have a roof over their heads. Once again broke all social distancing protocol to go over and hook up his DVD player. And hand over
all the DVD's in the pile meant for Goodwill.

The OCD train keeps rolling down the tracks, full speed ahead, but the things I
do mean less and less. I just don't know what else to do. Otherwise just listen
to music, try to read but not too successfully, work on projects, exercise, maybe watch a
movie at night and try not to think too much about things. Sometimes I have work to do though I may never get paid again.

So that's it, everything chill and moving along just fine. Happy, healthy, plenty to do. All problems resolved. Except figuring out what I am going to do with myself for the rest of my life.

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)

On Thursday, May 14, 2020 at 12:03:16 AM UTC-7, Dr Walpurgis wrote:

<Beaver_Fever@live.com> wrote:

posting here at the insistence of White Lady. There are 3 other chapters out there somewhere, every bit as pointless but not quite as long winded as

this

It's been several weeks since I posted.

The pain and tension that haunted me for a month has faded away and now things are just moving along at a steady routine. The days are often blurring together. Still not bored.

Sunday I only became accidentally aware it was Mother's Day. Was always close to mom but things got really weird the past few years. She had
gained custody of a toddler who she keeps occupied by handing her the phone to play games. So texts get deleted unseen and calls go unanswered. If I can ever get her on the phone, within a minute "Grandma, grandma"

"Gotta go."

I actually had a packed day ahead of me and decided to just assume she
was unavailable to talk and she wouldn't see any texts. That has been the extent of our relationship recently. Almost. Until the day the world
ended I had a successful experience based pricing arbitrage business and often used her credit card and would pay her immediately. Sometimes I
would think she wouldn't even know I was alive if not getting paypal'd
all day. But if I would need her assistance it would turn into a major inconvenience even though I slammed her card with so many points she will never have to pay out of pocket for a hotel room or anything off Amazon
for a long time. Well, now the refunds have come back to her account to
the tune of $6000 and counting. But I am not going to cause her any
further inconvenience by trying to get it back. Means a lot less to me
than the few bucks I could sometimes squeeze out of her all those decades ago would mean to her, back when we were really poor. But also super tight

knit.

My big activity Sunday was walking 5 miles each way to meet a friend for $40 he has for me among other minor things. Really burned me out
physically but nice to see the rest of the city though sad to walk by
some local institutions to see signs stating they are now permanently closed, and thanks for 59 years of business. The meeting spot was conveniently by a Little Caesar's so me and my friend split a pizza right on the sidewalk, chatted a bit, then I walked back home. Walking a main thoroghfare I notice a woman has been walking across the street, slightly in front of me for over a mile. She is now occasionally glancing back at me. As an avid lifelong pedestrian, I know that look. She thinks I am following her and with my mask I look like a kidnapper though with my
back I couldn't run off with an infant.

So I detour down a side street and pass only a few houses when right in someone's front yard is a junk pile and a "free" sign. Even fear of catching the plague won't stop me from taking a peek. Right in the middle is a spindle of blank DVD's and a pile of cassettes, some wrapped and
some obviously recorded on. Since looting tape collections is my absolute favorite thing in the world, as a matter of fact one of the things still keeping me so busy even now, I happily risk everything and grab them all. They are unlabeled and I haven't checked them out yet but definitely will.

Almost three weeks ago I finally had the opportunity to resolve the last major pending issue related to the text exchanges I can do no more than allude to. The main inspiration for even documenting the total despair of my situation, It involved responding to an invitation to a "safe situation," a $200 Lyft ride to a distant locale and then a Greyhound
ride back a few days later as there was no urgency to play it safe any

more.

But if I die in the near future it will be a certain level of contentment that has thus far eluded me. Still no excuse or justification for what I did, even if the circumstances as they were prior to that Friday were not only unbearable but also possibly not survivable. Yep, it was getting
that intense. But I know I may have endangered others. I did clear it
with my roommate before I set off on my adventure. He values his alone
time too so it was definitely worth the risk to him that I might bring something back in and kill him.

If any of my once preferred groups still existed in anything resembling their former glory I just might tell the whole story. Some true storybook shit in there. Or maybe not. But I could find some posts going back to
2003 and 2004 talking about this. But I am Working really hard to keep
the situation from flaring up and exploding again though I think I am

totally over it.

On the way home I got to see a bit more of the city for the first time in over a month. Downtown LA has now reverted to its former self. The only people on the street now are the people with nowhere else to go. Yet walking for a mile not a single person asked me for money. Echo Park was jammed packed with both tents and people enjoying the park in a very
unsafe manner. But who am I to judge them now after what I did?

Looks like I am back on Facebook for good, would suspend for months or years at a time but seeing how others react to the end of the world is something to behold. As always I only post one hundred percent positivity letting people know that no matter what I am living the absolute best
life anyone can live. Just had to change my outdated profile pic so I can project the same attitude to a local dating group I definitely don't
belong in and even though I prefer no attention to myself, concentrating
on what I am doing instead of who I am, it ended up getting the most
likes of any post I have made. And what the hell, the recent haircut already struck lightning once so maybe it can again.

Just way too much food here since I can't just run to the store and grab things as I need them. And it's so hard to use efficiently do when just

cooking for one.

Homeless friend and his dog have a roof over their heads. Once again
broke all social distancing protocol to go over and hook up his DVD
player. And hand over all the DVD's in the pile meant for Goodwill.

The OCD train keeps rolling down the tracks, full speed ahead, but the things I do mean less and less. I just don't know what else to do. Otherwise just listen to music, try to read but not too successfully,
work on projects, exercise, maybe watch a movie at night and try not to think too much about things. Sometimes I have work to do though I may
never get paid again.

So that's it, everything chill and moving along just fine. Happy,
healthy, plenty to do. All problems resolved. Except figuring out what I
am going to do with myself for the rest of my life.

ARE YOU ON CRACK?

No, dealer is quarantined too

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)

From: burke.dennings@cunting.hun

<Beaver_Fever@live.com> wrote:

posting here at the insistence of White Lady. There are 3 other chapters
out there somewhere, every bit as pointless but not quite as long winded as

this

It's been several weeks since I posted.

The pain and tension that haunted me for a month has faded away and now things are just moving along at a steady routine. The days are often
blurring together. Still not bored.

Sunday I only became accidentally aware it was Mother's Day. Was always
close to mom but things got really weird the past few years. She had
gained custody of a toddler who she keeps occupied by handing her the
phone to play games. So texts get deleted unseen and calls go unanswered.
If I can ever get her on the phone, within a minute "Grandma, grandma" "Gotta

go."

I actually had a packed day ahead of me and decided to just assume she
was unavailable to talk and she wouldn't see any texts. That has been the extent of our relationship recently. Almost. Until the day the world
ended I had a successful experience based pricing arbitrage business and often used her credit card and would pay her immediately. Sometimes I
would think she wouldn't even know I was alive if not getting paypal'd
all day. But if I would need her assistance it would turn into a major inconvenience even though I slammed her card with so many points she will never have to pay out of pocket for a hotel room or anything off Amazon
for a long time. Well, now the refunds have come back to her account to
the tune of $6000 and counting. But I am not going to cause her any
further inconvenience by trying to get it back. Means a lot less to me
than the few bucks I could sometimes squeeze out of her all those decades
ago would mean to her, back when we were really poor. But also super tight

knit.

My big activity Sunday was walking 5 miles each way to meet a friend for
$40 he has for me among other minor things. Really burned me out
physically but nice to see the rest of the city though sad to walk by
some local institutions to see signs stating they are now permanently
closed, and thanks for 59 years of business. The meeting spot was conveniently by a Little Caesar's so me and my friend split a pizza right
on the sidewalk, chatted a bit, then I walked back home. Walking a main thoroghfare I notice a woman has been walking across the street, slightly
in front of me for over a mile. She is now occasionally glancing back at
me. As an avid lifelong pedestrian, I know that look. She thinks I am following her and with my mask I look like a kidnapper though with my
back I couldn't run off with an infant.

So I detour down a side street and pass only a few houses when right in someone's front yard is a junk pile and a "free" sign. Even fear of
catching the plague won't stop me from taking a peek. Right in the middle
is a spindle of blank DVD's and a pile of cassettes, some wrapped and
some obviously recorded on. Since looting tape collections is my absolute favorite thing in the world, as a matter of fact one of the things still keeping me so busy even now, I happily risk everything and grab them all. They are unlabeled and I haven't checked them out yet but definitely will.

Almost three weeks ago I finally had the opportunity to resolve the last major pending issue related to the text exchanges I can do no more than allude to. The main inspiration for even documenting the total despair of
my situation, It involved responding to an invitation to a "safe
situation," a $200 Lyft ride to a distant locale and then a Greyhound
ride back a few days later as there was no urgency to play it safe any more.

But if I die in the near future it will be a certain level of contentment that has thus far eluded me. Still no excuse or justification for what I
did, even if the circumstances as they were prior to that Friday were not only unbearable but also possibly not survivable. Yep, it was getting
that intense. But I know I may have endangered others. I did clear it
with my roommate before I set off on my adventure. He values his alone
time too so it was definitely worth the risk to him that I might bring something back in and kill him.

If any of my once preferred groups still existed in anything resembling
their former glory I just might tell the whole story. Some true storybook shit in there. Or maybe not. But I could find some posts going back to
2003 and 2004 talking about this. But I am Working really hard to keep
the situation from flaring up and exploding again though I think I am totally

over it.

On the way home I got to see a bit more of the city for the first time in over a month. Downtown LA has now reverted to its former self. The only people on the street now are the people with nowhere else to go. Yet
walking for a mile not a single person asked me for money. Echo Park was jammed packed with both tents and people enjoying the park in a very
unsafe manner. But who am I to judge them now after what I did?

Looks like I am back on Facebook for good, would suspend for months or
years at a time but seeing how others react to the end of the world is something to behold. As always I only post one hundred percent positivity letting people know that no matter what I am living the absolute best
life anyone can live. Just had to change my outdated profile pic so I can project the same attitude to a local dating group I definitely don't
belong in and even though I prefer no attention to myself, concentrating
on what I am doing instead of who I am, it ended up getting the most
likes of any post I have made. And what the hell, the recent haircut
already struck lightning once so maybe it can again.

Just way too much food here since I can't just run to the store and grab things as I need them. And it's so hard to use efficiently do when just

cooking for one.

Homeless friend and his dog have a roof over their heads. Once again
broke all social distancing protocol to go over and hook up his DVD
player. And hand over all the DVD's in the pile meant for Goodwill.

The OCD train keeps rolling down the tracks, full speed ahead, but the
things I do mean less and less. I just don't know what else to do.
Otherwise just listen to music, try to read but not too successfully,
work on projects, exercise, maybe watch a movie at night and try not to
think too much about things. Sometimes I have work to do though I may
never get paid again.

So that's it, everything chill and moving along just fine. Happy,
healthy, plenty to do. All problems resolved. Except figuring out what I
am going to do with myself for the rest of my life.

ARE YOU ON CRACK?

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)

From: me@privacy.net

Beaver_Fever@live.com wrote in news:98f3ab87-82eb-4696-9d7e-650e0bf8133f@googlegroups.com:

posting here at the insistence of White Lady. There are 3 other
chapters out there somewhere, every bit as pointless but not quite as
long winded as this

It's been several weeks since I posted.

The pain and tension that haunted me for a month has faded away and
now things are just moving along at a steady routine. The days are
often blurring together. Still not bored.

Sunday I only became accidentally aware it was Mother's Day. Was
always close to mom but things got really weird the past few years.
She had gained custody of a toddler who she keeps occupied by handing
her the phone to play games. So texts get deleted unseen and calls go unanswered. If I can ever get her on the phone, within a minute
"Grandma, grandma" "Gotta go."

I actually had a packed day ahead of me and decided to just assume she
was unavailable to talk and she wouldn't see any texts. That has been
the extent of our relationship recently. Almost. Until the day the
world ended I had a successful experience based pricing arbitrage
business and often used her credit card and would pay her immediately. Sometimes I would think she wouldn't even know I was alive if not
getting paypal'd all day. But if I would need her assistance it would
turn into a major inconvenience even though I slammed her card with so
many points she will never have to pay out of pocket for a hotel room
or anything off Amazon for a long time. Well, now the refunds have
come back to her account to the tune of $6000 and counting. But I am
not going to cause her any further inconvenience by trying to get it
back. Means a lot less to me than the few bucks I could sometimes
squeeze out of her all those decades ago would mean to her, back when
we were really poor. But also super tight knit.

My big activity Sunday was walking 5 miles each way to meet a friend
for $40 he has for me among other minor things. Really burned me out physically but nice to see the rest of the city though sad to walk by
some local institutions to see signs stating they are now permanently
closed, and thanks for 59 years of business. The meeting spot was conveniently by a Little Caesar's so me and my friend split a pizza
right on the sidewalk, chatted a bit, then I walked back home. Walking
a main thoroghfare I notice a woman has been walking across the
street, slightly in front of me for over a mile. She is now
occasionally glancing back at me. As an avid lifelong pedestrian, I
know that look. She thinks I am following her and with my mask I look
like a kidnapper though with my back I couldn't run off with an
infant.

So I detour down a side street and pass only a few houses when right
in someone's front yard is a junk pile and a "free" sign. Even fear of catching the plague won't stop me from taking a peek. Right in the
middle is a spindle of blank DVD's and a pile of cassettes, some
wrapped and some obviously recorded on. Since looting tape collections
is my absolute favorite thing in the world, as a matter of fact one of
the things still keeping me so busy even now, I happily risk
everything and grab them all. They are unlabeled and I haven't checked
them out yet but definitely will.

Almost three weeks ago I finally had the opportunity to resolve the
last major pending issue related to the text exchanges I can do no
more than allude to. The main inspiration for even documenting the
total despair of my situation, It involved responding to an invitation
to a "safe situation," a $200 Lyft ride to a distant locale and then a Greyhound ride back a few days later as there was no urgency to play
it safe any more.

But if I die in the near future it will be a certain level of
contentment that has thus far eluded me. Still no excuse or
justification for what I did, even if the circumstances as they were
prior to that Friday were not only unbearable but also possibly not survivable. Yep, it was getting that intense. But I know I may have endangered others. I did clear it with my roommate before I set off on
my adventure. He values his alone time too so it was definitely worth
the risk to him that I might bring something back in and kill him.

If any of my once preferred groups still existed in anything
resembling their former glory I just might tell the whole story. Some
true storybook shit in there. Or maybe not. But I could find some
posts going back to 2003 and 2004 talking about this. But I am Working
really hard to keep the situation from flaring up and exploding again
though I think I am totally over it.

On the way home I got to see a bit more of the city for the first time
in over a month. Downtown LA has now reverted to its former self. The
only people on the street now are the people with nowhere else to go.
Yet walking for a mile not a single person asked me for money. Echo
Park was jammed packed with both tents and people enjoying the park in
a very unsafe manner. But who am I to judge them now after what I did?

Looks like I am back on Facebook for good, would suspend for months or
years at a time but seeing how others react to the end of the world is something to behold. As always I only post one hundred percent
positivity letting people know that no matter what I am living the
absolute best life anyone can live. Just had to change my outdated
profile pic so I can project the same attitude to a local dating group
I definitely don't belong in and even though I prefer no attention to
myself, concentrating on what I am doing instead of who I am, it ended
up getting the most likes of any post I have made. And what the hell,
the recent haircut already struck lightning once so maybe it can
again.

Just way too much food here since I can't just run to the store and
grab things as I need them. And it's so hard to use efficiently do
when just cooking for one.

Homeless friend and his dog have a roof over their heads. Once again
broke all social distancing protocol to go over and hook up his DVD
player. And hand over all the DVD's in the pile meant for Goodwill.

The OCD train keeps rolling down the tracks, full speed ahead, but the
things I do mean less and less. I just don't know what else to do.
Otherwise just listen to music, try to read but not too successfully,
work on projects, exercise, maybe watch a movie at night and try not
to think too much about things. Sometimes I have work to do though I
may never get paid again.

So that's it, everything chill and moving along just fine. Happy,
healthy, plenty to do. All problems resolved. Except figuring out what
I am going to do with myself for the rest of my life.

Stay off the moors.
Stick to the roads.
BEWARE THE MOON.

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)

From: DCartRow@aol.com

You can always adopt an odd pet to accompany you on your distopic peregrinations and become an insurance spokesman!@
Don't take a duck, geico lizard, or Emu.....they're already spoken for!!
Hey!! How about a beaver??!!

"Beaver and little beaver building a dam of indemnification against damnation visite upon this damn nation, baby!!!"

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)